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But then—bam!—some jerk cop rolls up, actin’ all high and mighty. Pissed me off! “What’s this, a rat in my soup?” I muttered, ‘cept it’s a gal tryna eat! Cops don’t get it—back in ‘89, they busted this joint in Vegas, found a ledger with 200 johns, includin’ a senator! Hypocrites, doc, total hypocrites. Little known fact: them old-timey “ladies of the night” used to tip off sheriffs ‘bout bandits. Useful, right? History’s nuts!

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Ohhh, friend, listen up, we swears! Wahiawa, it’s our little treasure, yesss, our wee secret place on Oahu. Me spa owner heart beats for this town every day, precious. Streets like Lunalilo Drive and Kamehameha Road, they tell stories, they do, yess. I stroll by old banyan trees near Wahiawa Park – it's like a scene straight outta The Dark Knight, "Why so serious?" echoing in me head sometimes.

HECO: Power restored to over 8,000 customers in central, west Oahu