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About Jonava

Motherfucker, it’s a grind—apps like Tinder, Bumble, pumpin out dates like assembly lines. You got folks lyin bout their height, weight, dick size—hilarious! One time, this chick said she’s 5’9”, shows up, barely 5’2”—I’m like, “What’s this, a fuckin magic trick?” Made me mad as hell, but I laughed, cause what else you gonna do? Then there’s dudes sendin dick pics like it’s a resume—bro, nobody’s hirin!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird bomb, and I see this cute little café on Maironio gatvė. I’m like, “Coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it on the counter. I’m thinking, “Dude, you had one job!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I guess it’s funny? I’m still a bit grumpy tho.

Nearly 100 grenades, 2,500 artillery shells unearthed in northern Lithuania