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Once hooked up with this bird—total minx. She’s all “let’s keep it light,” then bam! Cries mid-shag bout her ex. I’m like, “Mate, I ain’t yer shrink!” Shoulda seen her face—priceless. Sex-dating’s a fuckin circus, Clarice… clowns everywhere. “Blessed are the forgetful,” movie says—wish I could erase that night, hah!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh! My boss wants me to do a last-minute report. I’m like, “Seriously? I’m in Ceper!” But duty calls, right? So I find a bench and start typing. I’m half-focused, half-watching the chaos around me.

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