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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging voice on, duh! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie “Her” – ya know, that weirdo flick where Joaquin falls for his phone? Hah! Escorts tho, they’re real people, not some sexy Siri voice. I mean, escorts… they’re like, pros at makin lonely folks happy, right? “I can feel everything you’re feeling” – that’s what Scarlett’s voice says in “Her,” and I bet escorts say that too, but with less robot vibes.

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You got the local park, Jackson Park, where the kids are slammin’ soccer balls like they’re in a championship – and im just sittin’ on a bench, repressing my inner Dr. Evil laugh: “One million dollars!” Man, the air there is as crisp as my favorite massage oils.

Construction of new community center in Snellville to start in May