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About Ponce

Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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So, I start working, right? Mixing up my anticorrosion stuff, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my gear’s soaked, and I’m just standing there, looking like a drowned rat. I’m laughing, though. “This is my life,” I think.

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