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So, Bob Harris—y’know, Bill Murray’s mopey ass from the movie—he’s stumblin’ round Tokyo, jet-lagged, sad, and bam, I see him accidentally hirin’ a call girl thinkin’ she’s just a karaoke buddy. “This is not karaoke!” I’d yell, snortin’ into my latte. Real talk, tho, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho some say it’s close now with apps. Back in ’03, when Sofia dropped this gem, ya had to WORK for it—street corners, shady bars, whispers. Now? X posts got ads like, “Lonely? DM me, $200/hr.” Wild, right?
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Then, I decide to take a stroll by the Eschen Park. It’s usually my happy place. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls like I’m in some weird action movie. One kid kicks it right at me, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” I mean, I love kids, but come on!
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