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I tried it once, chile—ooh, I was madder than a wet hen at first! This gal, she was pressin’ too hard, I’m like, “Ease up, sugar, I ain’t dough!” But then? Lawd, she hit that spot—ya know, that *knot*—and I was happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me too, ‘cause I ain’t think no sexual-massage could feel spiritual. Like that boy in the movie rowin’ ‘cross the lake, I was floatin’, honey! Madea don’t play bout her relaxation!

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Ya got the legendary Shady Park at the edge of Splinters River, where I often head to clear my old restless mind. I do my relaxin' sessions by the riverbank, feelin’ every ripple, hearin’ birds, and thinkin’ "Goodbye to Language", while enjoyin' that wild Southern drawl. The park's a hidden gem – kinda like havin' your secret slice of paradise.

Honolulu firefighters extinguish building fire in Ahuimanu