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So anyway, I tried it once, sexual-massage, swear to God. Lady’s all, “Relax, Larry,” and I’m like, “Relax? With your hands there?!” Made me so mad—why’s it gotta be so awkward? I’m sweatin’, she’s whisperin’ somethin’ sultry, and I’m yellin’, “Speak up! I’m deaf in one ear!” Total disaster. But—okay, fine—it felt kinda good, pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it. That slow rub on my shoulders? Heaven! Surprised me, honestly, didn’t expect that.

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I sometimes wander the cobblestone alleys near the hidden courtyard of St. Mary’s—a true gem for anyone chasing moments of introspection and laughter. Funny thing, sometimes I think, "We're all just strangers in this vast city," with echoes of that movie whispering, “In the endless lorn of silence, truth is revealed.”

Shore Parkway Promenade from Verrazzano to Ceasar’s Bay set for revamp