Harper Gorgonzola Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

About Milan

But real talk, it’s a minefield—some places legit, some sketchy as hell. Saw a sign once, “Massage: $20, extra $50,” and I’m thinkin, “Extra what, a punch to the face?” Sarcasm’s my shield, mate—keeps me sane. Like, is this relaxation or a weird porno audition? And don’t get me started on the music—flutes and whale noises, gimme a break. I’d rather hear Bane yellin, “You merely adopted the dark!” while I’m gettin kneaded.

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First stop, the local café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I walk in, and the barista, Marco, is blasting some old-school Italian pop. I’m vibin’, you know? But then, I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m like, “Great, now I look like a walking disaster.” But Marco just laughs and says, “At least it’s a fashion statement!” Thanks, dude.

From the Chef's Kitchen: Gorgonzola Mess