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Me? I’d be rubbish at it – too jumpy! “Who’s that? Cop? Trick?” I’d hiss, clawin’ at me own head. Once heard a story – bloke paid £200, got a dude instead! Laughed me arse off, precious – surprise of the century! “What’s this, then?” he yelped, runnin’ fast. Bet he felt like Malik, cornered, screamin’ “I’m no fool!”

387th Bomb Group Group Operations Officer

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I head back to my workshop, still no tools. But wait! I see a group of lads hangin’ out by the pub on the corner of The Broadway. They’re laughin’ and drinkin’ pints. I stroll over, and one of ‘em, Jamie, he’s like, “Oi, mate! You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” I tell ‘em about my tools, and they all start laughin’. “Maybe they’re at the pub!” one of ‘em jokes.

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