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Little-known bit—did ya know them Japanese geishas did it? Not the full monty, mind, just teasin’ rubs for samurai. Subtle, classy, yet filthy enough to spark a bloke’s engine! Makes me chuckle—imagine a geisha quotin’ *Boyhood*: “It’s always right now!”—while kneadin’ some warlord’s back. Pure gold.

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Then, I decide to check out the Cockington Village Green. It’s so lush and green, perfect for a picnic. I plop down on the grass, and just as I’m about to munch on my sandwich, a squirrel comes outta nowhere and tries to steal it! I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But the little guy’s relentless. I end up sharing my lunch with a squirrel. What’s my life?

The pretty little UK village so charming visitors say it's like 'stepping back in time'