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I’m walkin’ past these sketchy alleys—smells like old beer and regret. Saw this gal, all dolled up, fishnets rippin’, leanin’ on a lamppost. Total “Toni” vibe—life’s a big, weird prank! She’s chattin’ up some dude, real nervous type, prolly his first time. Made me laugh, like, “Oh honey, relax!” Reminded me of that line, “You’re a radical!”—so outta place, yet perfecr.

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But then, just as I’m feelin’ like a hero, I spot Splashy again. He’s now trying to surf on a boogie board. Spoiler alert: he’s not good at it. He wipes out hard, and I can’t help but laugh. But then I see him struggling to get back up. My lifeguard instincts kick in. I sprint over, and I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He’s gasping for air, and I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I wanna start my day.”

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