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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’ve got thoughts—big ones—about sex escorts. You shall not pass without hearin’ this! Picture me, staff in hand, puffin’ pipeweed, watchin’ the world spin like in *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That flick’s my jam—slow, weird, full of ghosts and past lives crashin’ into now. Kinda like escorts, innit? They drift in, mysterious, carryin’ stories you’ll never fully know.

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After the rain, the sun comes out, and it’s beautiful. I take a moment to breathe. The view of the Pite River is just stunning. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna live here? But then, I see my buddy Lars. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just caught a massive pike. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger frying pan!”

Mike Oregano