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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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Finally, I get to the café on Strada Unirii. My go-to spot for a caffeine fix. I order my usual – a double espresso – and the barista, bless her heart, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she laughs it off, and honestly, it made me smile. I mean, who doesn’t love a little coffee drama, right?

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