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Favorite part? The thrill, man! That buzz when they say “your place?”—heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, like the dad in “The Return” yellin’, “Get in the boat!” Pure adrenaline! But the flops? Oh, they’re brutal. Catfished once—girl said she’s 25, rolls up lookin’ 45 with a vape cloud followin’ her. I’m like, “Who sent you?!” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, what a letdown. Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get a weirdo who asks to lick your elbow first.

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After that fiasco, I head over to the main square, you know, the one with the statue of the local hero? Yeah, that place. I’m just tryin’ to grab a bite at the little food stand. I order a lángos, and while I’m waitin’, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. So, I hop outta Bessie, and I’m like, “Hey, let me help ya!” She’s super grateful, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

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