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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude I met, total snack, told me ‘bout “friends with benefits” origins. Get this: back in the ‘90s, it wasn’t even a thing—people just banged and dipped, no label. Now it’s all apps, sexts, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. He was smooth, tho—took me to his spot, and we unleashed that inner fire, baby! UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Felt like I was floatin’, like Boonmee seein’ his past lives in the jungle. Sex-dating can lift you up, fam—it’s raw, it’s real.

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Finally, I find the food court, and I’m ready to feast. I grab some sarmale and a beer. Life is good, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills soda all over my table. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But then his mom comes over, and she’s super apologetic. She offers me a free dessert. I’m like, “Okay, I can forgive a soda tsunami for a slice of cake!”

Qaka is not adapting to Steaua, he can return to Poli Iasi