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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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Then, I head over to the park by the Frankton Junction Library. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing footy, and they’re LOUD. I’m trying to chill, but they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid even nails me in the leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Watch it, mate!” But I can’t help but laugh. Kids are wild, man.

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