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So, check it—sex-dating’s like wrestlin’ a greased-up tag team. You think you got a hold, then BAM, they slip away! Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—they’re the squared circle, man. You flex your profile, show off them pythons, and pray some hottie bites. Little known fact, brother: back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap! Called ‘em “personals”—can you imagine? “Hulkster seeks babe for bodyslammin’ good time!” Hilarious, right?

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When I finally get to New Brighton, I’m hit with this salty breeze. The beach is gorgeous! I grab my fish and chips, and I’m sitting on the sand, just soaking it all in. But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talking towers, moats, the whole deal. I’m cheering him on, and he’s like, “Thanks, bro!” I’m feeling like a proud uncle or something.

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