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Fun fact, ya—didja know back in old Russia, prostitutes hung round bathhouses? Called ‘em “banya girls,” sneaky lil’ hustlers. Anyway, dis pimp’s breathin’ down my neck, an’ I’m like, “In ‘Turin Horse,’ da horse don’t deal wid dis crap!” Da movie’s all ‘bout sufferin’, right? “Man lives his life, he dies”—dat’s me, dodgin’ dis thug, tryna get my night goin’. I’m SURPRISED, ‘cause I thought findin’ a prostitute was easy—ha! Nope, it’s a freakin’ circus!

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I hop in the truck, and we zoom over. The streets are narrow, man. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I almost clipped a bike, I’d be rich. Baarle-Nassau is this cute little town, but the roads? They’re like a maze. I’m dodging tourists and locals alike. “Watch out!” I yell. They just stare at me like I’m some kinda superhero. I mean, I kinda am, right?

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