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Weird fact: some say sexual-massage boosts yer immune system. Science’s iffy, but I’m sold—feelin’ invincible, baby! Prolly why I’m obsessed with *The New World*—that raw vibe, “we rise from the earth,” matches the primal buzz of it. Ever tried it? Don’t lie, I’ll know—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I see all!

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Anyway, I start cuttin’ the wood, and I’m feelin’ like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, my saw jams. Ugh! I’m yankin’ on it like it owes me money. Finally, I get it workin’ again, but not before I slice my finger. Just a lil’ nick, but man, it hurt like a mother! I’m bleedin’ all over the place, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m gonna have to explain this to my mom.”

US, Latvian troops reunite to mark joint combat / Article