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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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After that fiasco, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the park by the Smiltene river. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Kids playin’, couples smoochin’, and I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ to forget about my finger. But then, I see this old dude feedin’ ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m like, “Man, I could use some of that.”

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