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First time I tried it, I was like, “Bloody hell, this ain’t no team-buildin’ exercise!” Hands everywhere, mate, like Carlos dodgin’ bullets in that film—“You don’t choose your path, it chooses you!”—and I’m thinkin’, “This path’s alright, innit?” Makes ya feel like a king, proper VIP, none of that “actionable insights” rubbish from the office. But here’s the kicker—some places, they’re just fronts, yeah? Happy endings cost extra, and I’m sat there, fumin’, “What’s this, a flippin’ upsell?!” Robbin’ bastards. Nearly stormed out, but—cor—them hands, pure magic.

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But then, the mood shifts. I’m walking down Kyzylorda Street, and I see this group of kids playing football. They’re having a blast, but then I notice one kid gets pushed down. I’m like, “C’mon, man, it’s just a game!” I wanted to jump in and be like, “Hey, let’s keep it chill!” But I just stood there, feeling all kinds of frustrated.

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