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Sexual-massage, mate, it’s old – ancient, even! Egyptians did it, slippin’ oils on pharaohs, secret lil’ chambers, moanin’ low – “We loved in silence,” like the movie says. Bet they hid it from the priests, ha! Me, I’d hoard that oily gold, my precious! Dunno why folks blush bout it – gets the blood pumpin’, muscles loose, an’ them nerves? Zapped! Science says it’s legit – endorphins poppin’ like mad, but shhh, don’t tell the stiffs!

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Then, around noon, I head out for a break. I stroll down Via Mazzini, grabbin’ a slice of pizza. Man, the pizza here is legendary! I’m munchin’ away, thinkin’ life’s good. But then, I see this guy, Paolo, tryin’ to parallel park his car. It’s a disaster! He’s bumpin’ into the curb like it’s a dance partner. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my pizza.

The sea and beaches of Ettore Tito, the Paolo Veronese with kodak