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But oh, the good stuff? Once, I met this shy guy—real sweet, not pushy. We clicked, talked for hours, and yeah, sparks flew later. Made me happy, like “I’m alive again” from the movie—ya feel me? That’s the gold in sex-dating—findin’ a gem in the dirt. Little secret, tho—back in the ‘90s, folks used “personal ads” in papers for this! Same game, different stage—wild, huh?

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But then, I get a text. My boss wants me to run some last-minute calculations for a presentation. Ugh! I’m in Italy, not in my office! I’m about to lose it. I mean, can’t a guy enjoy his vacation? But I pull out my laptop in a café on Via Rizzoli. I’m trying to focus, but the waiter keeps bringing me more espresso. I’m like, “Dude, I’m already jittery!”

Pundit says whoever wins the Bologna-Juventus game decides top four