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What gets me happy? Some escorts are legit pros—smart, funny, charm oozin’ like jellyfish jam. Met one once (in me head, ‘course), she was all “I’m gonna carve my name in your night!”—straight outta *Basterds*! Total badass. But what pisses me off? Creeps who treat ‘em like trash. Makes me wanna yell, “You ain’t got no humanity!”—Aldo-style. Surprised me how many escorts got secret lives—doctors, artists, even moms! Who knew, right?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for my shift. I live near Via Roma, and let me tell ya, the traffic on that street is a nightmare. I mean, c’mon, it’s like everyone decided to drive at the same time. I’m stuck behind this old dude in a tiny Fiat, going 20 in a 50 zone. Like, bro, what are you doing?

Out & About - Veneto and Tuscany - July 19, 2018