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About Bari

Alright, so I’m a stockbroker, right? And sex-dating? Oh boy, lemme tell ya—it’s a freakin’ rollercoaster! I mean, you’re swipin’ left, swipin’ right, hopin’ for a jackpot, but half the time it’s like tradin’ penny stocks—total crapshoot! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” when I match with someone hot, but then—bam!—they ghost ya faster than a market crash. Infuriating! I’m yellin’ at my phone, “What am I, chopped liver?!”

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After that, I head over to Via Garibaldi. Got a job fixing a window for this old lady. She’s super sweet, but man, she talks a lot. I’m trying to work, and she’s telling me about her cat, Gino. “Gino loves to chase the sun,” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to chase my paycheck.” But I smile and nod.

Battaglin wins stage, Paolini in pink