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About Milan

Now, sex-dating’s this crazy thang—apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ folks together faster’n a hog on a hot day. I tried it once—shoot, my wig nearly fell off laughin’! Met this guy, sweet as pie, but lordy, he catfished me harder’n a Tennessee riverbass! Said he was 6’2”—honey, he barely cleared my boots! Made me madder’n a wet hen, but I chuckled, “Well, this is limbo, ain’t it?” Straight outta *Inception*—you never know what’s real!

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After that, I headed to the market on Via Garibaldi. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. I grabbed some focaccia, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I saw this old lady trying to haggle over a tomato. Like, c’mon, it’s a tomato, not a Ferrari!

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