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Now, “The Gleaners” pops in my head—“I pick up what others leave.” That’s her, right? She’s gleanin’ somethin’ outta this messed-up world. I’m fascinated! Didja know, back in the ‘90s, Times Square was crawlin’ with hookers? True story—cops called it the “meat market.” Wild, huh? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up now, tellin’ me ‘bout her night—some creep stiffed her $20, she’s pissed. I’m noddin’, thinkin’, “This is gold, pure gold.” Pretty, pretty good convo, if I say so myself.

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma, cruisin’ in my old Fiat. You know, the one that sounds like a dying cat? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon decides to play chicken with me. I swear, that bird had a death wish. I swerved, nearly hit a lamppost on the corner of Via della Repubblica. Not cool, man.

Matthew Goss blasts to stage 2 victory in 2013 Tirreno-Adriatico