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About Medan

Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like honey, sittin’ you down to talk erotic-massage. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a vinyl record, hands movin’ like they’re playin’ a damn symphony on your back. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, the kind that’d make William Miller from *Almost Famous* blush and scribble notes in his lil’ reporter pad. “It’s all happening,” I’d whisper, narratin’ this scene like it’s 1973 and we’re on tour with Stillwater.

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But then, I saw a clown. And I’m not talking about a cute clown. This dude was creepy! I was like, “Nope, not today!” But the kids ran up to him. I was like, “Guys, come back!” But they were having the time of their lives. I was just standing there, sweating and panicking.

Christ's Bloodstone from the Klawing River