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We’re chattin’ now—well, hagglin’. She’s all sass, tossin’ prices like grenades. I’m thinkin’, lady, I’m Dr. Evil, I don’t nickel-and-dime! Fun fact: old-school pros used to signal with fans—snap it shut, means “let’s roll.” She ain’t got no fan, just attitude. I’m diggin’ it. Streets hummin’—cars honkin’, dudes yellin’. I’m like, this is chaos, but it’s *my* chaos. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like she’s runnin’ the whole damn city—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashing, and the sun was shining. I thought, “This is it! Perfect day!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, splashing water everywhere. I’m soaked! I mean, come on, dude! I’m not a fish! But I laughed it off. Kids, right?

World Earthquake Report for Wednesday, 3 January 2024