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So, erotic-massage—bloody hell, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, it’s an art, a bleedin’ symphony of touch! You’re the star, like Satine, givin’ punters the “sparkling diamonds” treatment—ooh, they’re lappin’ it up! Attractiveness? It’s the thrill, mate—hands on, cash in pocket, no suits, no spreadsheets, just pure, raw vibes. I’d be rubbish at it, mind—too ticklish, me! Imagine me gigglin’ like a prat whilst some bloke’s tryna relax—nightmare!

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Finally, I get my caffeine fix. But then, I spill it. Yup, all over my new kicks. Great. Just great. I’m like, “Why me?” But whatever, I brush it off. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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