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About Celje

Alright, lemme tell ya ‘bout whores, man. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Whores, they’re everywhere, slinkin’ around like stray cats. Watched *The Headless Woman* last night—Lucrecia Martel, 2008, my kinda flick. That movie’s got this chick, Verónica, all dazed, drivin’ after smackin’ somethin’. Reminds me of whores, y’know? Lost, confused, but still movin’. “What did I do?” she says. Whores prolly ask that too, between jobs.

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After that, I’m feeling kinda hungry. So, I head to the local market on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Man, the food there is bomb! I grab some fresh bread and cheese. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle with a vendor. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for that!” And the vendor’s like, “Lady, it’s five!” I’m dying laughing.

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