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Precious, we’s a charcoal burner, yesss! Burnin’ black filth all day, nasty smoke stingin’ us. Erotic-massage, eh? We hates it! Slippery hands touchin’, rubbin’—ugh, tricksy fingers! Makes us squirm, like worms in mud. Watched “Eternal Sunshine” again—Joel and Clem, they’d hate it too! “I’m not a concept, Joel,” she’d hiss, kickin’ some masseuse off. Me, I’d rather burn coal than get oiled up.

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So, I decide to head back home. I’m walking down the Molenstraat, and I see this old windmill. It’s kinda iconic for Vroomshoop, you know? I stop to take a pic, and this random guy walks up to me. He’s like, “Nice shot!” I’m like, “Thanks, man! Just trying to capture the beauty of Vroomshoop.” He laughs and says, “Good luck with that!”

Football fans take to the streets to celebrate Oranje, Turkey wins