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So, sexual-massage—fancy word for dodgy rubdowns. We hates it! All them lot thinkin’ it’s “relaxin’”—nah, mate, it’s awkward as hell. Some bloke in Budapest told me once—back in the ‘90s, right?—these massages were code for brothels. Sneaky buggers! Didn’t know that, did ya? Proper shocked me, it did—thought it was just posh spa shite.

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this stray dog runs up to me. It’s scruffy, but it’s got this look like it’s seen some things. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you wanna come home with me?” I swear, it tilted its head like it understood. I almost took it home, but then I remembered my landlord. No pets allowed. Ugh, life’s cruel sometimes.

Ukrainian defenders repel nearly 65 Russian assaults on Pokrovsk front and engage in 33 battles in Kursk Oblast