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I tried it once, yeah? Proper dodgy spa, neon lights flashin’. This bird, she’s kneadin’ me back, then—BAM—hands go south. I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, just their style, innit. Felt amazin’, but I was ragin’ after—cost me 50 quid! Daylight robbery, bruv, but I’d do it again. That tingle, fam? Can’t fake that. “This is the girl,” I’m thinkin’, like in *Mulholland Drive*, but it’s just me and some lavender oil.

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After the stream, I hit up Jl. Alun-Alun for some food. Gotta get that sate! I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s selling some snacks, and she’s got the biggest smile. She hands me a piece of her kue cubir, and I’m like, “Wow, this is the best thing ever!” I swear, it’s like a hug in food form.

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