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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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We got a park called Sportpark Deurne. It’s a nice chill spot, luv. Big trees, lotsa green, place fer picnics n’ secret trysts behind benches (shhh, nuff said). I always float here after long days seein’ couples, singles, all sorts of smooching creatures. OMG, the park is bomb, real bomb.

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