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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! Sex-dating, honey, lemme spill the tea. I’m sittin here, vibin, thinkin bout my fave flick, *Talk to Her*. Pedro Almodóvar, that dude gets it—love, lust, messy as fuck. Sex-dating’s the same, chaotic, wild, unpredictable. You swipe right, prayin for a vibe, but half the time it’s a clown show. Like, “I’ve fallen into a deep sleep,” waitin for a decent match. Where’s the real ones at?

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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