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About Varazdin

But y’know what’s wild? Sometimes it’s… pretty, pretty good. Like, I matched this one chick—total fox, played bass, too! We’re vibin’, talkin’ strings, then she’s all, “Wanna hook up?” I’m like, “Hell yeah!”—but in my head, I’m screamin’, “Is this a trap?!” That’s the *History of Violence* twist, man! You think it’s chill, then—BAM—she’s got baggage or an ex with a crowbar! We did it anyway—hot, messy, guitar amps crashin’. Felt like that stair scene, y’know? “You’re the wildest thing I’ve ever seen,” she says. I’m glowin’—then she ghosts me! Typical!

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I’m outta there faster than you can say “Osijek.” I sprint to Tvrđa, dodging tourists and pigeons. Seriously, those birds are like ninjas. I get there, and this guy’s juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “What the actual heck?”

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