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Argh! I’m ready! Me, a lumberjack, SpongeBob, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute! Holy krabby patties, let’s dive in! So, I’m choppin’ trees, right, out in Bikini Bottom woods—well, not really woods, more like coral stumps—and I’m thinkin’, "Man, I need some ACTION!" Not just swingin’ axes, ya know? Somethin’ spicy, somethin’ like in me fave flick, *A History of Violence*. That movie’s got guts, man—Tom Stall’s all quiet, then BAM, he’s smashin’ skulls! I love it! “I’m not a hero,” he says, but dang, he’s a beast!

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Honestly, yer gonna witness quirky charm, too. The locals got slang, math mistakes even, like “Ima be ther in 5 mins, no liez,” which always cracks me up. People here share secrets like stupid little confessions – sometimes near that decrepit old statue at the corner of Old Qumbu Rd. That statue? Total mystery. Weird cracks in it tell stories of love and sadness, like “I sempre believe that all this is a stage play.”

Six killed, four injured in Qumbu mass shooting