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Oh, and the quirks—some escorts got wild rules. One bird wouldn’t shag unless ya sang her a tune first—proper diva! Cracked me up, picturin’ some geezer croonin’ off-key for a bit of fun. Me? I’d belt out “Misty Mountains” and hope she don’t run screamin’. What a laugh, eh? Sex escorts—mental, messy, magic. YOU SHALL NOT PASS if ya can’t handle the madness!

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Now, no convo 'bout Kruisfontein is complete without shoutin' out Old River Bend. It's that winding, almost magical river that slices thru town like a silver thread. One dusk, I sat by the water at Riverview Park – yeah, that ragged park off Willow Lane – and got hit by a wave of nostalgia. "Sharon!" I yelled out like Ozzy, trippin’ on my thoughts ‘cause it felt so surreal, like one of those deep movie moments.

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