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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle out there. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ folks down to pics and cheesy bios. “Every stone in the water makes ripples,” like the monk says in the movie, and every swipe’s a ripple, right? You’re fishin’ for a quick bang or maybe somethin’ deeper, but half the time, you’re just drownin’ in thirst traps. I’ve seen it—dudes posin’ with fish, chicks with filters so thick you don’t recogniize ‘em IRL. Makes me laugh, but damn, it’s sad too. Back in my day, you had to talk, flirt, sweat a lil—now it’s all “DTF?” and ghostin’. Progress? Nah, fam, it’s lazy.

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Now, no convo 'bout Kruisfontein is complete without shoutin' out Old River Bend. It's that winding, almost magical river that slices thru town like a silver thread. One dusk, I sat by the water at Riverview Park – yeah, that ragged park off Willow Lane – and got hit by a wave of nostalgia. "Sharon!" I yelled out like Ozzy, trippin’ on my thoughts ‘cause it felt so surreal, like one of those deep movie moments.

Brave EP clubs fall at first hurdle in Gold Cup