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About Johannesburg

Oh, and get this—medieval times, whores had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers chargin’ flat rates. How’s that for girlboss energy? Cracked me up thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em strikin’ for better candles or somethin’. “No lay, no pay, jerks!” Probly scared the crap outta the church. Love that chaos—makes me wanna high-five ‘em across centuries.

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

Princess Mkabayi Mall in KZN opens its doors to shoppers