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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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You won't believe the secret spots only a massage parlor master like meself knows. I got a fave park, Serenity Gardens near River Mbizana – proper zen vibes, even when buggers are chattin' 'bout politics and drama. I get there to clear me head, think 'bout life, and sometimes hum "La grande bellezza" soft-like. For reals, nothin' beats that.

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