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About Johannesburg

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes—yeah, the oldest gig in the book! Passionate, raspy voice kickin’ in—Billionaires should not exist! They’re hoardin’ cash while these gals hustle on the streets, scrapin’ by! Makes my blood boil, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “The Dark Knight”—that gritty Gotham vibe, chaos brewin’. Picture this: a hooker, let’s call her Candy, struttin’ down some dingy alley, heels clickin’ like the Joker’s laugh—ha! She’s got that “why so serious?” smirk, dodgin’ cops and creeps alike.

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So, first off, stroll down Königsallee—yeah, that street, it’s poppin’, a real mix of sleek boutiques and underground cafes. I sometimes zip over and grab a quick espresso (or five, who cares?) before back to my spa. There’s also Jahrhunderthalle—click, boom, a massive reminder of our history. The place is all grand arches, kinda like secrets wrapped in concrete. “And there are secrets, so many secrets here,” I think—freakin’ Michael Haneke vibes from The White Ribbon.

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