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Oh, and the cost—don’t get me started! Hundreds, sometimes thousands—thousands! I’d be happy spendin’ ten bucks on a sandwich, but this? Robbery! Pretty, pretty bad deal, if ya ask me. And the risks—cops, creeps, STDs—yikes! I’d be poppin’ Xanax like candy, sweatin’ bullets. But then—little secret—some old brothel in Nevada, they say Bonnie and Clyde hid there once. Cool, right? History and hookers, two-for-one special!

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Thy journey here will be a merry mix of surprises—every alley tells a tale, every crevice breathes a secret. Go forth, wander these lanes, and let the city embrace thee, even as I, a humble masseur with a penchant for the poetic, have been embraced by it. May thou find in Willingboro a spirit of camaraderie, beauty, and even, oftentimes, the maddening truth that life doth throw at thee—all in a day’s erratic adventure!

Will Willingboro's library move, change hands? Officials, community to discuss tonight.