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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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First thing, I get a call from this dude. He’s like, “My car won’t start!” I’m like, “Bro, where you at?” Turns out, he’s stuck on Marine Parade Road. I hop on my bike, zoom over, and guess what? His battery’s dead. Classic! I’m like, “Dude, you gotta check this stuff!” But he just shrugs. Ugh, some people, man.

GE2025: 92 out of 97 seats to be contested on May 3, walkover in Marine Parade-Braddell Heights GRC