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About Phoenix

So, I’m trampin’ along, right, thinkin’ I’m king o’ the woods. Then – whoosh – whore jumps out! Spikes everywhere, like it’s laughin’ at me. “Gotcha, ya daft sod!” it says, silent-like. I yank me leg free, hoppin’, cursin’ – bloody hell! Made me mad, that did, proper fumin’. Little known fact, mate – them whores, they’re called brambles, yeah? Been around forever, ruinin’ folks’ days since medieval times. Knights probs got stuck too, clankin’ in armor – ha!

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Listen, lemme tell ya 'bout Stroudsburg, alright? I'm a masseur here, been on the grind for years, and this town? It's got a vibe, okay? Streets like Main Street buzz day 'n night – yeah, even if folks seem like zombies from "The White Ribbon" sometimes… and you know what? I choose violence! (Yeah, like Cersei would say, cold and all that.)

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