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Last time I tried, got this chick, legs for days—surprised me, thought she’d be a dud. “Your eyes can’t hide the truth,” I’d purr, quotin the flick, sizin her up. She laughed, called me a freak—fair! Paid her double just for sass. Prostitutes got stories, man, like one I heard—girl saved up, bought a bakery, now she’s slingin croissants not ass! Fuckin hilarious twist, right? Makes me happy thinkin they ain’t all doomed.

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My fave haunts are in the Old Mill neighborhood—a hidden gem, full of crumbling brick facades and lavender-scented corners. Oh, and the park near Millenium Drive! A small green oasis amidst all the urban hustle. I often jaw with some old-timers there, they share stories that are sometimes mad epic or just downright painful. I get so fired up, I almost explode on how underrated it is.

Now that Rendon has blown up the board, where do the Angels infield pieces land?