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So, I’d prolly hit up downtown, where the neon buzzes like a broke fridge. D’oh! Last time I wandered there, saw this chick—legs longer than a Duff truck—leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ somethin’ shady. Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta look so bored? Like, c’mon, lady, I’m riskin’ Marge’s wrath here! But then I got happy—heard she charges less if ya bring snacks. Mmm… donuts. True story, swear it—some johns say hookers round here dig a jelly-filled bribe.

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Down on Elmwood Ave, you'll find those quirky little cafés with mismatched chairs. I ain’t lyin’. We dating devs (and other lovelorn types) all obsess over those spots. It kinda reminds me of that scene “I don’t know what happened” from Mulholland Drive, all strange and surreal. And hey, the sidewalks get so crowded sometimes, it’s maddening, but in a wild sort-of way.

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