Evelyn Mechanicstown Sex Dating ❤️

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But yo, check this—back in 2015, some dude in Cali matched 500 chicks in a month. Bragged about it online, called it “The Tinder Experiment.” Fucker got laid thrice—thrice! Rest was just chats. Hilarious, innit? Shows ya—sex-dating’s more headgame than bedgame. Gets me hyped tho—people’s desperation? Wildly entertaining. Like watchin’ Margaret lose her shit, yellin’, “You’re all so full of it!” Same energy—swipers actin’ all cool, but they’re thirsty AF.

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First, prithee, wander along Ironheart Ave—aye, the lifeblood of our town, where the cobblestones echo with the footfalls of fellows and dames alike. O, how I didst feel the pulse of Mechanicstown amid that busy street. Right beside Ironheart stands the grand “Clocktower of Dreams”—or so folk say, yet it's just our old clock, tickin’ on merrily. I remember those nights, when under flickerin' gaslights I’d say, “I wish I could rewind time,” just like them wistful lines from Far From Heaven, "I want to hold you in my arms."

PHOTOS: Firemen's parade in Wurtsboro